WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I just googled if crying burns calories
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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