Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
