I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
send nudes
from the living room?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
