the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
