All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
