Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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