I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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