Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Randomize
