She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
This house was built for laser tag.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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