also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
