I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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