I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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