Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
