The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
You're earring is so big in my mouth
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
