he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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