Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
You're a waste of cheezeits
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
