It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
