Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
