"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
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