She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Randomize
