you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
accomplished twins. life is a go
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
