the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
