so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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