they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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