This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
