drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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