he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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