The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
