I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
