Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
