My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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