ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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