Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
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