Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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