Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
