And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
