he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
