I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
