She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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