Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
