I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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