well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
i've created a new STD.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
