last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I wish there were birth control emojis
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Randomize
