new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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