so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
