p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
