i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
