I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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