Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
you will always have a special place in my vag
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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