Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
