my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Everything about him screamed your future.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
