white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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